Truth

I've been depressed and it is no ones fault but mine. I've acted like a bitch and have been treated accordingly. I can't stand being coddled and accepting help. I have several bad habits. I patronize brutally when i'm nervous or when i try too hard to make people feel at ease. I smile ridiculously or nod to be included in conversations i have no part in. I stay at home in a place that drives me nuts because i'm too much of a coward to face the world maturely and have lost faith in my passions. I haven't yet punched Phil in the face yet though on occasion he has thoroughly tested my restraint.
     I look at porn farrr too much though i am not so naive that i do not know what a true relationship means, the personal security it gives, and the void of acceptance, longing and purpose it fufills. I need a woman to quell my mind soon i know but one of my chosing and in my own time. I've built a mountain of bad habits around myself during my life so far and it will no doubt take the rest of it to move away.
     In summance, all of this is bitching i know but i've said what i needed to say and it was either brave or stupid to do so on the internet but who really gives a shit. If anyone has anything to say to me from now on for gods sake just fucking say it! I don't usually throw stones because i've lived in a glass house most of my life but the next person to throw anything into my living room gets a boulder in theirs.